Ever wondered what would happen if Homer went to Starbucks? There may not be an app for that, but there is a Tumblr account–Literary Starbucks. It’s worth a look. Or, if you would prefer the Tumblr in a nutshell, try this article: “If Authors Ordered at Starbucks.”
Homer’s sample, from the Literary Starbucks site:
Homer goes up to the counter and asks if they have any wine dark teas. The barista goes in back to check. He doesn’t return for 20 years.
Even more remarkably, Tolkien’s is accurate and does not involve jokes about exaagerrated good vs. evil plots or short people:
Tolkien goes up to the counter and orders a Teavana Shaken Iced Blackberry Mojito Tea Lemonade. All of the hipsters inside the shop overhear and immediately go up and order the same thing. Tolkien is enraged and storms out, screaming that everyone misunderstood what he was trying to order.
(Suffice it to say that Tolkien was not a fan of many of his fans–though his critics often seem unaware of the fact.)